We’re so often told failure is not an option, but is that even realistic? Failure has such a negative sound to it that we easily miss the lessons and growth that comes with it.
So what happens when you allow failures to cultivate your life? When you open yourself up to learn and use them to your advantage.
For me, these are 5 things I’ve failed at this year and how they’ve helped me.
Ever since entering the 2nd half of this year I feel like I’ve been hitting wall after wall. As I begin to brainstorm new ideas and begin on a new goal, I quickly learn that it’s not what I really want to pursue. I used to be so hard on myself until I realized Priscilla, this isn’t failing… this is doing!
Quitting has been known to have this negative undertone in it, especially with everything on social media now days. Don’t quit, keep going, don’t stop! Those are all great messages and in most cases are encouraging. Yes, it’s great not to quit what you love, what you’re passion is, what you know in your heart of hearts is what you were born to do. However, sometimes quitting is the best thing that will ever happen to you. It allows for clarification, new growth and often more time to focus on what’s really important.
Myth: If I’m not consistent, I’m a failure.
Truth: Quitting things/people further reveals what you’re meant to truly be consistent in.
Though I’ve learned to master not comparing myself to others, I’ve had a really difficult time with comparing myself to… myself. My future self, my past self, my should’ve been self, my what if I’d done this self. It takes a toll.
So often we are told to compete with ourselves and that’s somewhat a good strategy for getting ahead, for growing. But when we are constantly stuck in a cycle of comparison to who we were or who we ought to be, it gets toxic and leaves you with no room to love yourself. To accept the journey and to realize you’ve gone through what you have and are where you are for very specific reasons.
Comparing myself to myself has taught me I’m not perfect and what an awesome thing that is! It’s given me clarity, motivation and encouragement to use my experiences to help others in the same situation. I’ve learned to appreciate my life and all the moments.
Myth: Stay in competition with yourself!
Truth: So long as you’re not beating yourself up for past or future self expectations, you should always learn from and appreciate all of your experiences.
Basically I said I was going to quit for many great and realistic reasons but then, I kinda didn’t quit. Truth is I decided to “give it up” in the wrong mindset. Externally I wanted to seem like I was choosing a healthier, smarter lifestyle but internally I wasn’t trying to stop social drinking or have a margarita with my dinner here and there.
Not giving up alcohol after writing about how I would, actually helped me in digging deep to ask myself what my motives were. It made me take two steps back and contemplate the reasons I do what I do. Is it for others? Is it for my image? Or is it because I really, really want to?
Myth: You have to give up certain drinks, food, etc. in order to look/be healthy.
Truth: Not caring what others think about you is healthy, listen to your body.
DIET & FITNESS STABILITY
Again, the past 6 months have been pretty unpredictable. From deaths to natural disasters to self reflection and life’s random way at throwing things at you, I haven’t done a great job at keeping up with my fitness or diet routine.
The inconsistency in my workouts and gym time has been off than ever before and I’ve chosen to indulge in more unhealthy meals than not. But here’s the thing, I’m definitely not beating up myself for it. Throughout this whole wellness journey I’ve learned that perfection does not exist! And thank God for that, seriously. I was done with negative self talk and thoughts years ago when it comes to taking breaks with this stuff. We’re human, it happens. And the more you insult yourself for it, the more you’re likely to not bounce back.
Take the breaks you need, don’t beat yourself up for them. Then when you regain clarity and things get less crazy, get back into the swing of things.
Myth: You have to stay on top of your strict diet and fitness plan in order to be healthy and well.
Truth: Accept and allow your off moments. They guide you to areas you need the most work on at the moment.
LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
Although I’m not a fan of living with regrets, they’ve really gotten a hold of me lately. Specifically with situations that happened and have affected my finances. School, certain life events that took a turn for the better mentally but not the same for my pocket book, investments that didn’t go through the way I’d hoped.
I’ve been allowing the past (and sometimes the future) take a grip of my mind and make me feel as though I could’ve avoided so many downfalls. That’s what happens though, when we let our mind time travel without caution and awareness. It starts to harness our view of the present moment and the lessons and gifts all decisions have brought forth.
If we allow our minds to do this, we’re robbed of the present moment which is truly the only thing that exists. I’ve learned that focusing on regrets not only has negative effects but can blind you to the opportunities you have in the here and now due to them.
Myth: You shouldn’t have ever ________, focus on your future.
Truth: Your past does not define you and by focusing on the present moment each day, the future takes care of itself.
Do you ever feel like you’re failing at something only to learn a greater lesson from it?